Paper Dove Missions
Our Journey to the Mission Aviation Field : Justin, Anna & Liam Toews
Marriage isn’t meant to last forever…
My thesis, A Study of Social Media’s Use in Fundraising for Christian Missionaries, is finished, and here I am, 19 days away from marrying the man who started it all – becoming bonded to a future missionary for life. Here’s something I wrote a couple months ago after we saw our pastor for marriage counseling:
Ask someone on the street how long marriage lasts, and you might get a shoulder shrug, or a grunt, or the shake of a head. Ask them how long marriage is supposed to last, and you might get “until you can’t stand each other,” “until the kids grow up,” or even the occasional “forever.” But all of these would be wrong.
In America, we love to think of life and how we will live it, but we forbid the idea of death. We push it from our minds as if it would poison us. That is why you’ll seldom hear the correct answer to the question – the answer of God’s design: “until death.” “Until death do us part.” It’s so simple. We’ve heard it a thousand times, we know it by heart, but still it doesn’t come from our lips.
Sometimes I think that the Christian ideal of love and marriage is so strong that we refuse to believe or even think about God’s design – that death will end all earthly marriage. It is not a pleasant thought to dwell on. It does not speak to fairytale endings and radio songs of “forever love.” Is it not interesting that while marriage seems so ephemeral in our culture, it also is portrayed as so eternal?
There is only one love that is eternal , and that is the love between God and his people, the Church. Earthly marriage is only intended to be a reflection of that love – an example – not the “end-all.” Marriage is but an earthly pantomime of a heavenly truth – that God loves the Church enough to give himself (in Christ) for her – and that the Church should love God enough to give herself for Christ. This is the truth that we believe will not end, but will continue forever and ever. It is the eternal truth. Earthly marriage is not an eternal truth.
So then marriage is not an ultimatum. It is not “the Christian path.” Many good Christian men and women will tell you that it is a path to learning to live more humbly and selflessly – but how much more humble and selfless must the single Christian be! Therefore I present you with this all-important quote by John Piper, from his book This Momentary Marriage – A Parable of Permanance:
“Marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification – our preparation for heaven. There will be unique rewards for each. Which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.”
Our preparation for heaven is surely more important to us as Christians than our “relationship status.” We must only learn to live that way. This life is akin to a single butterfly in a forest of Sequoia trees – ephemeral, fleeting compared to what surrounds it – eternal life. Let us not mix up the reflection with the reality.
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