Paper Dove Missions
Our Journey to the Mission Aviation Field : Justin, Anna & Liam Toews
The jagged rocks of our issues . . .
Posted on May 7, 2014
Well, we’re in marriage counseling.
As the sun sets on the altar kiss, it is tempting to think that our issues set with it, disappearing into the darkness. But they are only temporarily covered by the glistening white sands of the honeymoon. Eventually, enough wind will blow and the jagged rocks will be revealed.
I could blame our need for counseling on the way my pregnancy cloaked our first year of marriage with an added layer of difficulty. The fatigue of the first trimester certainly rendered the fancy cookbooks useless, as I tried to balance housework, school, work, and a new marriage. The continued nausea of the second brought an exasperation that didn’t brighten our daily conversations, and the false labor of the third left me lying on my parents’ couch, feeling useless to my husband.
Instead, I’m thanking God. Yes, thanking Him. Our added difficulty acted as a sand sifter that shook the sand away faster than the wind could blow. The jagged rocks have now been revealed.
Our personal issues; born before marriage.
What we have learned in our short time of marriage is that the sooner those issues come to light, the better. I was sure that the counselors would shake their heads, pitying our early need for help. Instead, they have expressed their joy at how early we have arrived in their offices. “People usually come to us years down the road – and by then, much damage has been done. Trust has eroded. We are so proud of you for coming now.”
I was sure my friends would pity me as well. Instead I’m listening to a chorus: “I’m in marriage counseling too!” “I’ve heard it can be really great!” “So many of my friends have been helped by it!” “Pre-marital counseling wasn’t enough for us – so we’re getting more!” It is so refreshing to be surrounded by young people who accept and want help in their lives. This is healthy.
If you are newly married, or if one day you find yourself there – grab a hold of help right when you think you may need it. The resources are there. You simply need to extend your hand. A chorus of us will be waiting for you to tell us you’re there, too.
I married a missionary!…
Posted on March 22, 2013
“Did you feel the Holy Spirit? It was there.”
A little more than three weeks ago, I married Justin Toews, and became Anna Lisa Toews. A new name, a new identity in Christ. Wife, future missionary. Justin’s goal is to be a missionary pilot – flying supplies and people to remote areas of the third world – all for the glory of God!
There was no mention of this on our save-the-date, invitation, or in the program. Those who knew, knew, and those who didn’t – well, they got a bit of a surprise when my Father made his toast to our missionary career! The toast was heart-warming and more than we ever expected or could have asked for.
And now I am home, learning what it means to be a military wife, future missionary, student, and business owner (Anna Lisa Toews : Graphic Design, Social Media & Business Consulting in One). The laundry and cleaning call me when I have business to attend to, and my business calls me when I have schoolwork to do. Then, lo and behold, it’s 5 o’clock! It’s time for hubby to come home . . . is dinner ready?
I am saying this to make a point that when change comes – even wonderful change – adjustment is necessary. But no matter how many adjustments need to be made, God is my one constant in life. If anything deserves my time, it is Him.
Just as our friend and mentor said, “Did you feel the Holy Spirit? It was there.” I want to be there for Him too.
Marriage isn’t meant to last forever…
Posted on February 5, 2013
My thesis, A Study of Social Media’s Use in Fundraising for Christian Missionaries, is finished, and here I am, 19 days away from marrying the man who started it all – becoming bonded to a future missionary for life. Here’s something I wrote a couple months ago after we saw our pastor for marriage counseling:
Ask someone on the street how long marriage lasts, and you might get a shoulder shrug, or a grunt, or the shake of a head. Ask them how long marriage is supposed to last, and you might get “until you can’t stand each other,” “until the kids grow up,” or even the occasional “forever.” But all of these would be wrong.
In America, we love to think of life and how we will live it, but we forbid the idea of death. We push it from our minds as if it would poison us. That is why you’ll seldom hear the correct answer to the question – the answer of God’s design: “until death.” “Until death do us part.” It’s so simple. We’ve heard it a thousand times, we know it by heart, but still it doesn’t come from our lips.
Sometimes I think that the Christian ideal of love and marriage is so strong that we refuse to believe or even think about God’s design – that death will end all earthly marriage. It is not a pleasant thought to dwell on. It does not speak to fairytale endings and radio songs of “forever love.” Is it not interesting that while marriage seems so ephemeral in our culture, it also is portrayed as so eternal?
There is only one love that is eternal , and that is the love between God and his people, the Church. Earthly marriage is only intended to be a reflection of that love – an example – not the “end-all.” Marriage is but an earthly pantomime of a heavenly truth – that God loves the Church enough to give himself (in Christ) for her – and that the Church should love God enough to give herself for Christ. This is the truth that we believe will not end, but will continue forever and ever. It is the eternal truth. Earthly marriage is not an eternal truth.
So then marriage is not an ultimatum. It is not “the Christian path.” Many good Christian men and women will tell you that it is a path to learning to live more humbly and selflessly – but how much more humble and selfless must the single Christian be! Therefore I present you with this all-important quote by John Piper, from his book This Momentary Marriage – A Parable of Permanance:
“Marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification – our preparation for heaven. There will be unique rewards for each. Which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.”
Our preparation for heaven is surely more important to us as Christians than our “relationship status.” We must only learn to live that way. This life is akin to a single butterfly in a forest of Sequoia trees – ephemeral, fleeting compared to what surrounds it – eternal life. Let us not mix up the reflection with the reality.
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